My "Mom"

My dad passed away about 4.5 years ago from lung cancer, it was very sudden, we had only found out 4 months before that he had cancer. It was very hard on all of us.

At the time I was still living at home. Shortly after, I met Chad, and we moved in together... it had been a little over a year since my dad died. This left my mom alone in the house. She was very sad and lonely at times... but we were very close. Talked every day saw each other every week and always did things together.

Then November of 06 she met a guy... he was ok... kinda jerky but "fun" for her. He was the first guy she starting dating since my dad had passed. I was happy that she found someone to spend her time with but not prepared for what was about to happen. Within 3 weeks he was living in her house with her and within 4 months they had gone to to JP and married. ~A little fast dont-cha think?~

As soon as she met him she stopped talking to me as much and stopped spending time with me... which I understood at first... a new relationship... everyone kinda does that right? Well... its been almost 2 years now and I still never see my mom. She has done a COMPLETE 180 in the way she used to be. She is no longer ~my~ mom. He treats her like crap... he makes NO money and pays NONE of the bills... he just lives in her PAID OFF house rent/utility free... since being married they have bought a boat, 4-wheeler, him a new truck, and an RV ALL under HER credit and she pays ALL the bills. Can you say taking advantage of? But hey... he is ~fun~ to be around... yeah if you call fun being drunk all the time.

So if this wasn't bad enough... when we started TTC July of last year my mom made it clear that she wasn't ready to be a grandma again... she already has 6 grandchildren and of course does not have time to spend with them anymore because she wont leave her husbands side. The first few months when I didn't get pregnant she actually said "good". I was like WOW thanks mom.

Now that I am pregnant, she has pretty much wanted nothing to do with my pregnancy. Sure we talk about it every once in a while, but she just doesn't have "time" for me anymore... she is too busy with her husband. She only wants to be part of it when it is convienent for HER... like with our big u/s... she wanted to come because we were going to find out the gender... but she hasn't cared about any of my other appointments or anything... she just wanted to be there for the "exciting" one. I told her no.

Then when I told her it was a boy she says "Oh, I was hoping it was a girl". TOO BAD.

So we were at her house yesterday for my nephews birthday and she mentions that she has two coupons for BRU for 15% off. She says maybe we can go tomorrow cause they are about to expire. I was like WOW she actually wants to do something with me?? I was all excited... so today I call her and she tells me that her husband is getting off early today so she wants to be home when he gets off. WHAT?? So pretty much the only reason she was going to go was because he was working and now that he isn't she has to be home for him... GIMME A FREAKING BREAK!!!

UGH... I am just SO through with her. I have tried to be civil through all of this and I have ~tried~ to keep her included in my pregnancy some... but not anymore. I just keep getting hurt over and over by her and I don't know what else to do. I try to talk to her about it but she just blows it off like it is nothing. She just doesn't see how much she has changed. She was never a drinker before and now that is all she ever wants to do cause thats what HE does.

I really miss ~my~ mom and wish I could get her back. Unfortunately it doesn't look like that is going to happen... I feel sorry for my son who will never really know his MeeMaw because she doesn't have time for him. It's hard enough knowing my dad will never meet him but now that my mom will not be a very big part of his life either really kills me.

Oh and she wants my child to call her husband grandpa... HA... over my dead body.