Why?

Why can I not get pregnant?



Why am I scared to see the doctor? What do I have to lose?



Why do I suddenly hate my job?



I dont understand. I have been trying to get pregnant for 6 months. I am about to start my period making me go into my 7th cycle. Why can't I get pregnant? What am I doing wrong? Why won't I try to go to the doctor for help? I guess I am afraid my doctor will look at me and say "You haven't been trying long enough, Im not going to help you".



It really sucks with my insurance. Now if I go in for testing C7, medicine C8. Lets just say I get pregnant C8, my due date would be Jan 1st... Just in time for me to have to pay a whole new deductible for the birth.... yay. My deductible is $2500... fantastic.

WHat a week

OK so I was eating last night and all of the sudden my eye starts hurting. I go to scratch it and it feels like I have a needle in my lower eye lid right by where my tear duct is. So I go to look in the mirror and my bottom eye lid is swollen. Everytime I touch it it hurts. It almost felt like I had a splinter right there. So I decide to take some benadryl and sleep it off, thinking maybe I just got something in my eye.

Well I wake up this morning and it is still swollen so I decide that I am going to go to the eye doctor. I had lasik done a few years back so I don't have a regular eye doctor as I dont go very often. So I look up a doctor that my insurance covers and call... they can squeeze me in at 1.... awesome... so I get there at 12:40 as I always get to my appointments early and I have to wait until 1:40 to see the doctor... whatever... they squeezed me in so I just grin and bear it.

I get in there and he starts giving me an eye exam... checking my vision, etc. He gets finished and says my vision is perfect... well duh I had lasik and asks me if I have any questions. Im like YEAH, I came in because I have this huge lump in my eye... DUH. So he says oh I didn't see anything wrong. So I show him where there is a bump on my eye lid and he is like oh you probably just irritated it. He then proceeds to get a cleaning cloth, make me close my eye, and RUBS my eye... this is my eye that swells up if you touch it. He made me cry. I seriously felt like he was pushing a needle through my skin. He then told me to just keep it clean and sent me on my way.... ARE YOU SERIOUS??? He did not check it for ANYTHING. It could be a stye... it could be an allergic reaction... did he check... NO! To top it all off this cost me $45. So pretty much I paid to get a vision check that I didn't need and for a doctor to tell me Im just being a baby because my eye is swollen. I was so pissed.

So now I am debating on whether or not to go to another doctor or just wait it out and see if it goes away on its own. Oh and when I got there, the nurse lady was like "It looks like conjunctivitis." Um Im no doctor, but it looks NOTHING like pink eye... if I had pink eye my actual EYE would be red, not my eye lid, and my eye would be pussing... I went to a stupid doctor... figures.

I did however talk to the lady that hit me today. She is still sticking to her story that she has insurance. I told her what her insurance company told me and she said that there is no way. So she is supposed to be calling them on Monday to get it straightened out. Lets hope!!

Super Duper

So my bosses wife (pregnant) is working in the office today. All I have heard about since she got here is morning sickness and pregnancy... yay... this has started off as a lovely day.

Then the ladies insurance company calls, she was not insured on that day... WHAT THE FUCK... so I will be calling her later this afternoon. She said she is asleep until 2 cause she works nights, I should call her and wake her up. What a bitch. She KNEW she didn't have insurance. Ugh... my life seriously sucks right now.

Pictures

So here are the pictures of my car:







Lovely, eh?

Update

So we have yet to find out if the lady has current insurance or not, the ladies insurance company called back and said they are still "investigating" it. So we are still waiting to hear on that front.

On the TTC front I am about 5 or 6 DPO... fun... im literally not obsessing about anything at all, half the time I forget Im even in my 2ww or that we are TTC. Its actually a very nice change of pace, it feels nice to not obsess.. yay me.

What a night

OK so this is what happened on my way home from work today...

I stopped by the grocery store to get Chad a valentines card and what not, it is right by the freeway. So I am turning onto the feeder and it is a double left hand turn lane... I am in the outside land and there is someone in the inside lane. Well we both turned left but she decided that right after we turned she wanted to veer into my lane. It scratched the whole side of my car and then bashed in the front by the wheel. So I get out of the car and the lady is apologetic and says let me get you my information. I decided not to call the cops, I didn't want the lady to get a ticket, I am nice like that. Well I noticed when I was writing down her insurance information that it was expired by 2 weeks, she told me that she just didn't have her updated card with her... I believed her. Well I go to the police station to file a report and the police officer recommends calling the insurance company and making sure the policy is valid. So Chad calls for me, and low and behold they are "90% sure" that is is a canceled policy. We are supposed to be hearing from them for sure in the morning. WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously, I am never going to be a nice person again. This is bullshit, there is probably about $4000 worth of damage to my car and it is only 8 months old. Seriously, if she doesn't have insurance, I will hunt her ass down. I called Chad because he was right around the corner and he got her license plate number and VIN number and I got her DL number and address and everything. I am not about to pay a $500 deductible and have my premiums go up because her ass doesn't have insurance. I will take it to small claims court, I know I would win. So we are supposed to hear about it in the morning and if she doesnt have coverage I am going to give her a call. This is just so like something that would happen to me. Right before I got this car someone hit my car in the parking lot at work... it was a hit and run... I had to claim that on my insurance too. People are fucking idiots, I don't get it.

So lesson of the day:

ALWAYS CALL THE COPS

So Sad

I found the PERFECT weekend getaway for me and Chad and he said no :( What the hell is up with that... I so need to get away from my life right now, and he says no. What a jerk. I was very excited to get away for even just the weekend, now Im crushed :( I know, sounds pathetic huh? But thats how badly I needed this.

Im going to go sulk by myself now.

I agree... I would vote for Mike Huckabee :)

Who You Should Vote For

Mike Huckabee: 60% Barack Obama: 40% John McCain: 33% Hillary Clinton: 27% Ron Paul: 27% Who you agree with on the war in Iraq: Mike Huckabee and John McCain Who you agree with on the economy: Mike Huckabee, John McCain and Ron Paul Who you agree with on health care: Barack Obama Who you agree with on taxes: Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton Who you agree with on abortion: Mike Huckabee and John McCain Who you agree with on gay rights: Mike Huckabee

http://www.blogthings.com/whoshouldyouvoteforquiz/">Who Should You Vote For?

UGH, just seeing that I agree with Hillary Clinton on something makes me want to vomit.

Shitty Day

I feel like shit today. It feels like I haven't slept in days and I have a HORRIBLE headache. Im so ready for today to be over. Im about to just lay my head down and take a nap right here at my desk.

On the job note... I HATE job hunting. I hate even more going on interviews. Why does this have to be so difficult?!? Im also very scared of getting pregnant at the start of a new job. FMLA doesn't take effect until after 12 months of employment. What if they fire me when I go on maternity leave? Blah.

I should ovulate within the next couple days.... whoop-de-doo. Im two weeks away from finding out Im not pregnant again! I can hardly wait...

Livid

So I got a .25 raise.... a fucking 25 CENT RAISE! What the hell is that?!? Seriously, I am doing a shit load more work than when I started and thats all they can do is a .25 raise? WOW, I must be really valuable to this company... NOT. Seriously, it really makes me feel like shit that thats all they can give me. Lets see, .25 a week... that $10 extra a week.... $520 a year... WOW.... you shouldn't have...

Stick a fork in me because I am DONE. I am looking for a new job as we speak. This is ridiculous.

Im so pissed.

Here Morgan!

I was tagged by Morgan. So here is goes....

Here's the rules:
1) Link to the person that tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Fact#1: Only my pinkies on both of my hands are double jointed.

Fact#2: I can say the states in alphabetical order.

Fact#3: I once got in a wreck because I was flirting. Yep, that was me, stupid immature 16 year old was flirting with a car full of boys and started backing up before completely looking.

Fact#4: I have three older sisters... not really interesting but Im already running out of things to say.

Fact#5: I have small feet, I wear a size 5, its almost impossible to find cute shoes.

Fact#6: I wore tennis shoes on my wedding day. Even during the ceremony. They were red and white... my wedding colors were red, white, and black.

Since I don't know many people in the blogopshere yet, I am only going to tag Christina.

Monday again....

Why oh why does Monday have to come again and again. I hate Mondays, I am always in a funk on Mondays.

This weekend went by too fast, it was a pretty good weekend. We watched the super bowl yesterday, I was super glad that the Giants won. Im not a Giants fan or anything, but I am anti-pats. And it was nice to see Eli win, he deserved it.

This C in my TTC journey has been the easiest, I have pretty much not paid any attention to anything. Its been very relaxing. I am at the point to where I am just accepting my journey, hopefully it will be over soon, but if not, I just have to suck it up. Its another 6 months before I can see a doctor for anything, but hopefully we wont get that far.

All in all Im just pretty BLAH today, as I always am on Mondays... cant it just be Friday again?

I DID IT!!!

So before I left work I talked to my boss. I went in all cool and collective and was like "can I talk to you" I said I just wanted to ask about the possibility of me getting a raise... and she says.... I have actually already been working on getting you a raise.

I was pissed.... LOL.

Not that she was already trying to get me a raise, but because of the fact that if I would have just waited another week I wouldn't have had to go through the agony of asking. I don't know why I hate it so much, but I mean its a personal thing. When you ask for a raise you are essentially saying "I think Im worth more"... well if they dont give you a raise they are essentially saying "you aren't worth any more money"... so it leaves you incredibly vulnerable.

So I guess we will see how much my raise is, and depending on how much it is I will re-evaluate whether or not I still want to find a new job. Here's to another week of waiting!!

Im a Chicken

So I was going to ask for a raise this morning when my boss got here... but guess what... I chickened out. Sucks. I really love my job, but I am really underpaid, and it's starting to get to me. I feel like I am sitting here wasting my life away in a dead end job. Not that this is a dead end job, but there isn't really any room for growth. I feel like I am just going to be sitting here making like no money forever. So Im going to ask for a raise, if its not decent, I am going to find a new one. There, I said it, now I just have to carry it out.... Im just so frustrated with my "career" right now.